december 3 etc (part one)
I write these before I go to bed now. I have since we were in Victoria. Before Victoria I used to write them in one of two ways: a little bit at a time all day or all at once at like 3pm. Now I write in bed right before I go to sleep.
For a while I wondered if changing when I wrote would change the texture of the thoughts or the prose before smacking my forehead because the answer is yeah, duh, of course it does. Writing at the end of the day as opposed to in the middle feels more like a journal entry because it is more of a journal entry.
I think a journal entry is best when it's a "this is what I learned today via all the things I did today, by which I mean on this day, my whatever thousandth day on earth, a bunch of stuff clicked into place and I expanded my whatever by whatever %." Yes I actually think this way. I thought everyone thought this way but the last 30 years have shown me undeniable evidence, however anecdotal, that I think about things in a way that other people think of as somewhere between alien and insane. Hey, maybe you think that way too. And if you don't, that's okay because I'm going to do it anyway. At any rate, and only because this post is meant to be one of those, I need to be honest with where this one starts: dynasty fantasy basketball.
I'm not going to explain what dynasty is or what my teams are like, blah blah blah. I'm just going to tell you about a thing I recently experienced that was essentially the result of only possible because something finally clicking clicked into place.
One of the reasons I'm good at fantasy basketball is because I watch a lot of basketball, and when you watch a lot of basketball, you get a sense for really get to know who is bad, who is good, who is good but could be great, who is great, and who is great that might be a legend.
You also get to know who might be good if a few variables were different. If they gained a bit of muscle, if they grew a few inches (it happens!), if they got traded to a different team that didn't have an incumbent star at the same position, if they had a different coach. You learn how to separate hype, media narratives, and blog boy buffoonery from the reality of how good or bad or overrated or unheralded a guy really is. If you do this kind of thing intensely enough for long enough (and are true of heart) you even get a real sense of how they think, and how other guys think they think, and then you start to see the game for what it is: hundreds of individual chess matches played at full speed by some of the best athletes in the world. It is always beautiful and occasionally breathtaking.
Now you'd think everyone who was committed enough to pay money to play dynasty fantasy basketball (30T/9CAT/START6 for those scoring at home) would be a sicko like me: watching 2 to 3 games a night all season; poring over stats, advanced stats, and video in my spare time because I have four (4) dynasty rosters to build and sculpt because the lord hates a coward; locating old scouting reports on present day stars from when they were in college to see if there are identifiable patterns that preordain greatness; reading every piece written in English about some Serbian teenager I might consider thinking about maybe drafting in 2027... you get it. I assumed that all the leagues I joined and played in would be full of people as unhinged as I am, but that has simply not been the case. I have met more than a few ultra casuals and boxscore watchers since I levelled up in 2023 —— guys for whom basketball is a prevailing interest and a cool game but little more. And that's fine, people are allowed to like what they like. I'm just surprised.
Levelling up isn't something people say. It's something I say. To myself. In my head. I basically just mean that I decided to get into a different, harder, and more competitive tier of league that required more attention, knowledge, and seriousness. You're not just assembling a team, you're building it and shaping it. There really is a lot of sentimentality and craft into doing this kind of thing, or maybe I just bring that kind of sensibility to the hobby. Or maybe I just have psychosexual issues. Or maybe I should just move on before you think about that last one too much and then reflect on every one of our interactions and accordingly recontextualize the general energy and the literal temperature in all the rooms we spent time in together no I'm not a vampire why would you even think that?
The gist of the story is that my best team, right now, needed one more good player. I have a good team, one of the best in the league, but I needed one more good player to put me over the top, so I went looking around the league for the guy I should trade for.
For a few days, I scoured through the bargain bin. I identified a bunch of guys who might be that guy but wouldn't cost too much in re: what I'd have to trade out. I watched tape and reviewed some home/road splits. And then I pursued a few trades. One manager wanted more than I wanted to give and I almost met his price, but something didn't feel right. It took me two days to figure out why it didn't feel right and then it hit me and I couldn't be more excited to tell you.
The bargain bin is full of guys that might be available and might be what I needed or could potentially grow into the kind of guy I need. This is generally how I play the game. I try to identify value that other people can't see or don't have time to look for.
Consider this: my partner and I rent live in a loft in Toronto and work hybrid. We have no kids, no pets, no mortgage, no car, and accordingly, no car insurance.
Rephrased, it's actually closer to this: I am an adult have very who has few real responsibilities, a lot of free time, two computers, one tablet, an NBA League Pass subscription, what was recently called a "bloodthirsty" zeal for competition, and sleeping issues. Do the math.
Anyway, I love the bargain bin. It's full of guys who never quite became what people thought they might but still became solid, serviceable NBA players who every now and again show a flash of that that special quality they once had and forces you to remember back when we all thought he that guy was going to be a guy and in so doing feel the terrible immenseness of time passing brush up against your cheek.
There is are also the guys who is are just dyyyyying to get out on the court but he's they're third string so that's just not going to happen for a while —— but, when he gets out there for his two or three minutes at the end of a blowout win or loss, he does something special that you notice and you start thinking about him more and more, figuring that if he landed with the right team in the right situation he could actually be a guy.
For the people who dgaf about dynasty/fantasy, the bargain bin = the pool of available free agents who are not tethered to any team that you can grab for your team (if you cut one of your existing guys) but also every player on every other team's roster (as they are all theoretically available via trade) that wouldn't take too much to acquire.
Even if you're not looking to "complete" a good team, it's useful to sift through the lower end guys who could be available because it helps you next time you go few things are as fun as looking for a diamond in the rough. My most recent one: a kid named Kobe Sanders. He played at the University of Nevada last season and was taken in the late 2nd round of the 2025 draft.
I remember watching some tape on the kid before the IRL draft and thought he had a real feel for the game, but because he was already 23 and got drafted by the Clippers, who generally seem to rely on veterans and not young talent, he generally won't be wasn't on anyone's radar.
I keep tabs on young Mr. Sanders for a few weeks, watching the last few minutes of Clippers games every now and again. Is there something to this kid? Something that makes you think he might be a guy? He is more than comfortable with the ball in his hands even though he's a rookie playing with a team with at least two future Hall of Famers on it, which means that he is confident. He was asked about how difficult it was to guard Luka Dončić, one of the best players in the world, and he said that he treated it like any other assignment in a voice that suggested that he really did. Again, confidence but also fearlessness and maybe even a soupçon of arrogance.
I kept an eye on Sanders for about a week and then snatched him up immediately the second he looked like he'd figured out the speed of the NBA game. Maybe he becomes a guy, maybe he doesn't, but either way, he's now a member of a different team I am building in a different league, and I want to get back to the one you already know.
The one that needs one more good player.
To review:
Bargain bin. Good identify value. People no time. I time. Spend time research. Goal acquire talent low cost. Great success. Outwork opponent. Win every time. Wait. Something no sense. Insight. Stop sift bargain bin. Step away laptop. Think. New paradigm.
I started thinking about what I wanted, and how this a prospective trade would affect that. Like, really thinking about it. And then it all happened at once.
I want to win this league. Winning requires one more guy. Good, useful players are affordable. Really good, really useful players are less affordable. Winning the league is a more likely outcome if I get a really good, really useful player even if it costs more because good stuff often costs more because it's good. Okay, so, what do you really want? Well, I want the best C in the league but there's no way I could afford acquire a guy like that without trading some of the guys who are making my good team good at present. Oh, wait, there are a lot of guys on this team I don't want to trade. Oh, I should trade draft picks. Oh, these picks will probably only fetch a certain tier of player: someone who is quite good but doesn't help you in every area. Okay, but, Dave... you really only need help in certain areas. Oh, then the list gets whittled down. Yes, I know, that's why I told you. Yeah yeah I get it. Move on. Okay fine whatever. And now the list is shorter.
What about Ivica Zubac? He's steady, unspectacular, helps you in a few of the areas you want help in (he gets rebounds, blocks shots, and doesn't shoot from too far out so he hits a higher percentage of his shots). And you like watching him play. And he's really durable. Okay, yeah. I want him. But it'll be pricey. But I want him and that's he's what I need to get over the top, I think. Other players will cost less but be less effective and potentially less durable. Okay fuck it. I'll go for it. So I did. And then I shut my computer and went to the Raptors game.
A few hours after I got home on I agreed to a trade for the guy I wanted (Zubac) at a price I could afford even if it hurt a little. And I am like, exuberant for reasons including that a league rival just wrote this to me:
Maaan. You stole my guy again lol I wanted Zubac, I had sent him an offer with 2 firsts and didn’t even get a response so I figured he wasn’t on the table. Looks like in the end I wasn’t too far off.
Apparently my guy ******* thinks I stole a guy from him previously (i.e. traded for a guy he was sweet on before he could trade for that guy) and I think I know who he's referring to but, like, am I sorry for beating him in an aspect of our competitive game that is very competitive? Not even a little bit.
If you've been kind enough to read this far, I apologize for what I am about to do.
As you likely guessed, this is not a story about dynasty fantasy basketball. This is a story about neuroplasticity, growth, and how old dogs can learn new tricks. And you're only part way through it. The next part will hopefully be posted on December 4 but if it takes longer to write and refine, so be it.
🌲 gonna
🌼 go
🌱 touch nonny
🌳 grass nonny
🌷 now nonny
Be good to yourself.
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