march 27 cbg
I came up with an idea for a podcast today. It's called "Dave takes an edible" and it's basically just that, except it's also a two-hander and my partner is the other person, and her only job will be to wait until I'm right at the top of the first roller coaster drop into giddiness and then say the precise right thing in the right moment. Today the right thing was when she reminded me of the existence of Dunston Checks In while we were walking around Simons after I had tried on like ten things but before I bought these insane pants.
"Dave, remember Dunston Checks In?" and "Was that the whole thing? A chimp goes to a hotel???" sent me into paroxysms of glee punctuated by coughsand cackles. I'd say everyone was looking at us, but I know a few things about a few things and there were a few other travelers out there experiencing what I have come to refer to as #mallatnight, by which I mean that everyone was in their own #mallatnight world, and as such, exactly where they were meant to be.
To do #mallatnight, go to a big mall at night, preferably a Friday night. I have always loved #mallatnight. It was a me thing that has recently become an us thing. I coined #mallatnight a few months ago, but I used to do #mallatnight in Montreal all the time, especially after my entire life fell apart in 2019. I'd just go to a mall for a reason, and then, afterwards, I'd stick around and just people-watch while also doing other things, including but not limited to casually kiboshing some bad clothing purchase some dude was about to make because his girlfriend was in some kind of a fugue state and repeating, "I really like it" over and over like some malfunctioning robot at Epcot.
Weird shit happens in malls at night during #mallatnight by the way. Not the relationships and/or rivalries and/or crimes and/or devil-worshipping sex cults that happen amongst the mall people when us normies are putting our honk-shoo outfits on. I'm talking about regular weird stuff that regular weird people do.
I urge you to go do #mallatnight on some random Friday. Walk in via entrances you don't normally use. Go down staircases but up escalators. Or vice-versa. Grab a slice of pizza from a Sbarro and see if Pizzarina is minding the counter in some kind of Undercover Boss situation. Try something on that you would 100% buy but 100% not ever wear out of the house. Wander into stores that you would never think to look in. Rummage through sale sections and see if you can find something stupid and whimsical and inexpensive to take home as a souvenir.
Oh shit, it's late.
🌲 gonna
🌼 go
🌱 touch sleppy
🌳 grass sleppy
🌷 now sleppy
Be good to yourself.
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